ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Randomize
