haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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