You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
