Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
