She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
