Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
