Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
