listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
