I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize