now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
We left the knife in your bed.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
