Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
