JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
