How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
she told me i tasted like america
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
