I must be too annoying 4 u.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
