She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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