My hand turned me down
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
i believe in u and ur pee
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
