Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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