we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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