There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
