you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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