If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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