you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
