i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
