she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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