it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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