Don't make out with my wife yet
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
