its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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