did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I think people are normalizing furries
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
