Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
