If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
