So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
