she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
