We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
