Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
