brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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