I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
