P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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