You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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