Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
This is my gift to your gina
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
