I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
