Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize