Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
