I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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