i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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