we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
