there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize