Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
