We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Pooping to opera.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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