Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
