This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Too much gin, very little bucket
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
