I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
