haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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