I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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