Sponge bath it is.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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