Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
3 2 1 whiskey
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
