gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
