YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
