Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
