he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
